Blog post from Slave N.
I wake up in the morning. The first thing I see is the chain with which my collar is fixed to a hook in the wall in order to limit my freedom of movement. Then I see the locked cuffs around my wrists. Needless to say that I spent the night on the floor. The chain, the locked cuffs and lying in front of the couch immediately remind me of my position for this weekend with Master D. and Slave M. And it feels great! I feel excited, happy and proud. And I have to admit it immediately makes my dick hard. It is small details like these that often have the biggest impact and make a lasting impression. And it is these small details I appreciate and value so much about Master D. and his way of living BDSM.
I have known Master D. and Slave M. for many years now. We have not met often (maybe 1 or 2 times a year on average) but the chemistry was working well right from the beginning and the connection is quite strong. Even though in the beginning I did not have much experience in the BDSM world I felt that there was something special and unique about Master D. The subtle dominance that was present more implicitly than by what he was actually doing or saying, the perfect smoothness with which he manages to change the atmosphere from more serious to playful, from soft to hard and from BDSM to friendship that makes the whole stay a complete BDSM experience rather than sessions interrupted by meals and chatting. And finally the fact that Master D. does not need much to exert dominance. Explicit sex and hard corporal punishment/treatment are not the focus and mostly not necessary to achieve a truly deep, engaging and consuming BDSM experience that goes far beyond the play room.
When Master D. first chatted with me about the visit I was only thinking about finally seeing two great friends again. I did not think of the possible BDSM dimension. But when Master D. changed to this subject I felt honoured that he thought I was worthy as a guest to be included in Master D. and Slave M.`s BDSM life/routine for a weekend. I arrived yesterday by train and was asked to come to their apartment on my own because Master D. wanted to surprise Slave M. with my visit. When arriving at the house I sent a message and received a reply with some instructions and the door to the building was opened. The door to the apartment was open and after entering I found a letter with instructions. I went to the bedroom, undressed completely (as usual), put on a rubber mask, wrist and ankle cuffs and a collar, locked them and waited kneeling facing the wardrobe for what would happen next. What a thrilling start to two days with lots of new experiences!
Rules and structure are an integral part of Master D. and Slave M.`s life. And as a guest slave who is allowed to join their normal life these rules and structures also apply to me, of course. It was Slave M.`s task to remind me of/teach me the rules and make sure I would integrate well into their routine and disturb it as little as possible. Punishment for disrespecting the rules would not only apply for me but also for Slave M. For me this is always challenging because I hate doing mistakes but I also know that since we don't meet frequently it will not be easy to remember all the rules all the time so mistakes will certainly be made. This causes nervousness which in turn leads to even more mistakes. What makes me nervous is not the threatened punishment itself. What makes me nervous is something more painful than the punishment: the fact that I have failed and disappointed Master D.
Although I am definitely not a well-trained slave and have many shortcomings I think I have come quite a way since my first stay with Master D. many years ago. I still remember how difficult things like being naked wearing only cuffs and a collar all the time in the apartment while Master D. was dressed or eating from a bowl in front of Master D. were for me. It was a real inner struggle and I felt a lot of resistance which cost me a considerable amount of mental energy to overcome. What of course helped was that I realized and one could also clearly see how these situations turned me on despite all the discomfort I felt. Today there is no more inner struggle or resistance. It feels right and it makes me feel good because I know I am in the responsible hands of Master D. I am able to be naked and cuffed and to eat from a bowl with a certain pride. Pride that I have the privilege to be trained (I humbly have to add only to a certain limited degree due to the temporary nature of our BDSM relationship) and taken care of by Master D. and pride to be able to serve him the best way I can and hopefully do him justice and make him happy. I have always been a service-minded person which allows me to enjoy when I can make others happy by being of service, a quality that I believe certainly helps in being a good slave by focussing on the needs of your Master. It took me a while to get into this special mindset again and it is not always easy. But yesterday evening there was a clear sign that I had regained my (mental) place around Master D.: he was sitting on the couch and I felt the need to lie down on my back, my head between his feet and submissively look up to him. He looked down at me and the chemistry of the situation was so strong that within seconds my dick was rock hard.
Thank you for a fantastic weekend! Thank you for your trust that I will not be a burden but somehow modestly enrich your weekend, despite all my shortcomings (of which I am aware). I look forward to serving you again. And I promise: I will not have to be reminded about positions 1-6 again! ;-)
Slave N.
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Blogentry #062
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