creative ways of serving

There are so many ways of serving. There are so many ways of a submissive being useful for a Dom. The two main ways of service seem to be sexual service and financial services, when you look online. So that is why I decided to focus on the other ways of being useful, especially when they are a little bit more creative:

Tips about finding your Master/slave

I often get the question "What can I do to find a Master/slave?". I think it is time that I write my thoughts down. One thing in particular has to be clear: It needs your effort and of course luck.

Approaching a natural and experienced Master

I am a natural and experienced Master. I know who I am and what I want. I am sure that this makes a first approach for some slaves harder. Furthermore it is the nature of a natural slave that he does not want to bother a Master or waste his time and I like that attitude very, very much. On the other hand a slave should - in my opinion - be able to attract attention on a "subtle" level. I think it would be wrong to believe that you have to wait in silent until the Master finally contacts you. But where to draw the line?

Slave contract

I read here and there about slave contracts and I realised I never wrote about that topic. Therefore I decided to dedicate this article about slave contracts. There are some websites were you can find templates with these contracts. So what are the pros and cons about slave contracts?

Milking and "slave orgasm"

As you all know since this year I keep my slave "absoluetly" chaste. Therefore he does not receive an orgasm. I see and feel that his sexual energy is usefully rerouted and focused on his slave being and his service towards me. His sexual pleasure is to serve his superior. It is important for me to keep my beloved slave healthy therefore I stimulate his prostate here and there. I "milk" my slave on a regularly base but not to often. The goal is that my slave's prostate gets stimulated and emptied without having any kind of "joy".  There are two ways to achieve that.

Healthy BDSM-relationship

In a previous blogpost my slave mentioned that he finds joy in serving Superiors. Therefore, I wanted to raise awareness about the topic of “healthy” serving and a healthy D/s relationship. I mentioned in many of my blogpost that BDSM – especially the BDSM-lifestyle - is a symbiosis and therefore it has to be kept on a healthy level. But what is healthy and what is toxic?

Guiding a natural slave

When you find a natural slave you will start to mold him and work on him. Guiding him into his being as a slave. Owning a natural slave is a huge responsibility. Of course one of the benefits of owning and molding a slave is that you use your slave for your desires. But keep in mind that you have a kind of a "contract" with your slave - a healthy BDSM-relationship is a symbiosis. He has also desires - "slave" desires which (hopefully) fit to your "Master" desires. The desire to be useful to his Master. The desire to serve and submit. The desire that he can trust his Master 1000%. The desire of being guided into his submissivness - into his real being. I guide and mold my slave since he decided to be my owned slave. I guided him deeper into his natural being as a slave - which I think he was born for! But what means to guide a slave? I decided to dedicate this blogpost to this topic.

Why a Master should order slaves to his home

After more than a year of pandemic and with an optimistic view into the future I think the situation gets soon better. Therefore I decided to write an article about my tip why you should order slaves to your home.

 

As a Master I decide where I want to meet the slave. Therefore the slave has to follow. When I meet a "new" slave I prefer to order them to my home - when possible. You are probably wondering why. There are several reason why I do that.

"Mastercock" and "slavedick". How language affects a BDSM-relationship

We all know the power of language. A right word can ease up a tense situation. A wrong word can end a friendship. I have already expressed some thoughts about language in BDSM-context, for example how to address a Master and how to communicate right on social media. This time I want to focus on the use of words in our BDSM-relationship. Words matter a lot of course and we have clear rules. Like in many BDSM-relationships the words "Master" and "Sir" are quite important. My Master is by far not the only Master who punishes his slave when he does not address him correctly. I have to adress him as Master every time I wear my collar. If I don't wear my collar I CAN adresse him as Master, but there is no punishment if I don't do so. The rules are clear for my Master and me.

Slaves and positive reinforcement

I want to write today about the topic of positive reinforcement in BDSM. When we think about BDSM and how to train a slave we immediatly think of "negative" reinforcement. Using the crop, showing the slave what he did wrong and so on. Of course I use the crop, of course my slave gets punished when he did something wrong - this is all part of BDSM. In a session it can work to only focus on the "negative" reinforcemend. When living the BDSM lifestyle positive reinforcement is as important as negative reinforcement and I believe also in sessions where you have a submissive and devoted (natural) slave it is a important and great tool to use positive reinforcement.

"How shall this slave address you, Sir?" - Appropiate BDSM-communication

Communication is essential. This is valid for every relationship and even more for BDSM-relationships of every kind. All of us know some rules of how to communicate with each other and what we think is rude and what we think is appropiate. It can be a little bit more complicated when it comes to BDSM communication. So I have decieded to talk about some general ideas.

Find out Friday - Question#34

As you perhaps know I started on Twitter the hashtag #FindOutFridayBDSM. There I receive sometimes questions where I need more than 280 characters to answer properly. So I decided to use the blog to deepen some of those more complex questions. So here are the first "Find out Friday Questions" for the blog.

Ordering your slave to do a writing task

I enjoy to order my slave(s) to perform writing tasks. It is something really intimate. Perhaps you are now perplex about this statement and I can understand why. But to read a story or the diary of a/my slave is something intimate. You get the possibility to understand the slave's thoughts, feelings and in some kind his mindset. I love to read a honest written slave diary or a fictional slave story which caomes from the mind (and heart) of the slave. Furthermore you get the possibility to understand your slave more and that helps you to train your slave in a more efficient way. But you can also use a writing task as a punishment tool. So let's discuss the different kind of writing tasks:

Dealing with mistakes

"A Master is always right" - ehm nope...
Today I want to write about the topic of making mistake as a Master. As all human beings also Masters and Mistresses are making mistakes. Especially with the hierarchy between a Master and his slave this can be poisonous for a D/s relationship when the slave is not allowed to speak openly about his feelings and thoughts.

First of all it is clear for my that a slave has to accept and conceal small mistake of a Master/Mistress. If I misspelled or mixed up something but it is clear what I meant then the slave has to proceed and act like there was no mistake.

How to find your (natural) Master for the BDSM Lifestyle.

I receive from time to time from slaves the question "What advice can you give me to find my Master?". After I wrote an article about "how to find a slave" I will now share my thoughts about "how to find a Master". Of course there are some similarities. First of all I will start with the same words and sentences I used for the other article with the exception that I will switch "slave" with "master" and vica versa:

Three fantasies I still wish to perform

In a few weeks it is Christmas. So I decided to write about fantasies/wishes I still have in mind and perhaps (hopefully) will perform someday. Of course I have a lot of ideas in mind but I will reduce it here to those fantasy which are feasible, a little special and my slave already knows about.
So here three of my fantasies.

Becoming friends with other/another couple who lives the BDSM-lifestyle too
This blog entry (link) describes exactly what I mean. Knowing another Master who has also a slave and lives the BDSM-lifestyle. That would give a bunch of new possibilities. The slaves would know how to treat us (the Masters) and serves us with the respect we deserve. They would know what the preferences of each Master would be and therefore they would serve on a high quality level.
Furthermore if we trust each-other and the friendship would go deep enough I could imagine to lend out my slave. Perhaps while the other slave is on a business trip my slave could serve the other Master needs and vice versa. Another scenario could be that we (the Masters) are playing board- or video games while our slaves have to serve us and doing the house chores.
Another idea would be to perform a dinner night with 2-4 couples. Where all slaves are serving us while the Masters are enjoying the night together.

Having an BDSM evening with a hetero couple or female slave/mistress.
I never had the experience with a female or hetero couple. So it would be very interesting for me how this would be and were this would lead. If I could choose I would prefer to meet a hetero couple where one is the Master or Mistress and the other one would be the slave. Ideally they would also live the BDSM lifestyle. I think on such an appointment I would focus on pure domination, pure BDSM without sexual activities with the opposite sex. It is more a kind of an "experiment" and I would like to give it a try...

Special "Farm" Holiday - Outdoor activities
Another fantasy is to rent a house in the nowhere. Where nobody would be and we could live the BDSM lifestyle also outdoor while we are there. And of course with many posibilitys. Perhaps with a stable and a big garden. So that I could performs dogslave and ponyslave training outdoor with the gear needed of course! My slave would then have a clear procedure during the stay. Wake up prepairing everything for the morning. Then having  a slave training. Perhaps some time to rest if the training was exhausting. Perhaps my slave will then rest in the barn. Of coursed chained...
Or perhaps having dinner outside while my slave is serving me as trained.

Tips and tricks for planing a "special event"
I want to add that you always have to be open minded when performing a fantasie/wish in real life. It will never happen EXACTLY how you have it in mind and that is good. Otherwise it would be boring. So my tipp would be: Do not stick to a kind of fixed programm when you are planing something special or something bigger what is not your daily life. There are a lot of outside factors which you can not influence or plan. What I learned is that it never happens how you planed it, when you planned too much details.
When I plan something special, perhaps like the farm holiday, I memorize or write down "key events" which I want to perform. It is like a priorised "to/could-do"-list. Where I pick stuff I want to do if the situation allows it. As example it would be nice to ride my ponyslave outdoor or holding him as a chained dog outside the house. I keep these key events as small as possible and perhaps in some variations. Why? you ask:
What would be when it raines the whole time? Of course I would ride my slave outside but perhaps only for a few minutes. What if the area is to uneven and therefore very exhausting for my slave? Then I would also ride him but make perhaps more breaks so that he can regain power.
What I want to say is: There are a lot of factors which you can not plan or forget to mind. Have a "key event" in mind which gives the start settings, perhaps a lead in which direction it should go and then you look where it goes. Let the situation influence your decision. Do not forget: The journey is the reward. That is the reason you read a lot of "perhapses", "coulds" and why these are only rough ideas in my text above.

If you have any question or comments about this post let me know in the comment below.

Find us also on Twitter: @GaySlaveHusband

Blogentry #086

BDSM events - How to start a converation.

As you perhaps have read, I sometime present my slave on BDSM events. I really like to see the faces from other people when they recognize that there is something really "special" about our BDSM-relationship. When they notice that my slave is still kneeling before me without moving a muscle while facing the exact same spot for over 30 minutes, only waiting to receive further commands, while I am drinking my beer or chatting with other people or when they notice that he only receives orders by hand signal.

Tips for maintaining your BDSM-relationship

My Master and I have been living for some years now as Master and slave and we both enjoy it!
In this time we met and have heard about some other couples that failed with their BDSM-relationship. The reasons where different: Some broke up for various reasons but most of them turned from hard to vanilla in a pretty short time. We sometimes are asked how we manage to keep our Master slave relationship alive over such a long time.

Going the extra mile for your Master

There are many ways in which you can serve your Master and today I want to focus on one special aspect about it. I have read about it myself some years ago in another blog and the slave there called it "going the extra mile".  Since that I was fascinated from this concept and I have tried to adapt it in my own slavery and want to share it with you.

What does it mean?
It means that the slaves performs a given task or his normal slave tasks with extra effort. In many cases the Master does not know about this extra effort, sometimes he notices it - sometimes not. But the point is that the slave fulfills his duties by going the extra mile.

What constitutes a good Master

There are a lot of Masters in the "BDSM" world. Natural and session Masters, tall and short ones. Some more strict than others. Some with more experience than others. Some with a rubber fetish other with a sneaker fetish. They are a lot of different Masters types. But what constitutes a good Master?

Of course you have to look on different situations. But there are some points which are omnipresent.