BDSM Lifestyle and "Mood"

On the last "#FindOutFridayBDSM" event on my twitter I got the question what I do when I am not "in the mood". I find this question worthy to dedicate a whole blogentry. So lets dig deeper into the topic.

 

First of all we have to destinguish between "mood" and "lifestyle". Me and my slave choose to live the BDSM lifestyle because it fullfils us - it makes us happy, it satisfies our inner needs. It is our desire to live that way. If you have the desire of owning a pet you choose to live the "dog-owner" lifestyle - going out with the dog, train him, enjoy time with the dog and so on. You did not decide because you were in the "mood" for it, you choose it because it was your inner need which you wanted to satisfied.

Losing the right to earn orgasms

You already know that my Master has been for years and of course still is in control of my sexuality. You might be surprised to hear that even after a long time of enslavement there can be some changes. Until know I could "earn" orgasms by working for them. That meant that I had to do all the tasks, all the traininges etc. and earn bonus points. Over the years Master made it harder for me to reach the points and made the orgasms "more expensive". This way he could control the frequency of my orgasms and make them more and more rare. Normally I would get an orgasm, or a ruined orgasm, some time shortly after I had reached the amount of needed points as a reward. I noticed that recently I actually had for quite some time already reached the needed points but received no orgasms.

A BDSM-relationship is a dynamic construct

If you are living the BDSM lifestyle or you want to have a BDSM-relationship you have to keep in mind that it is a dynamic relationship. If you considering to build up a BDSM-relationship - any kind of BDSM-relationship - it is a dynamic construct. Hopyfully the Master and his slave will evolve (together!), you will deepen your bonds and I am sure the slave will deepen his submissivness - if it is in his true nature.

"Mastercock" and "slavedick". How language affects a BDSM-relationship

We all know the power of language. A right word can ease up a tense situation. A wrong word can end a friendship. I have already expressed some thoughts about language in BDSM-context, for example how to address a Master and how to communicate right on social media. This time I want to focus on the use of words in our BDSM-relationship. Words matter a lot of course and we have clear rules. Like in many BDSM-relationships the words "Master" and "Sir" are quite important. My Master is by far not the only Master who punishes his slave when he does not address him correctly. I have to adress him as Master every time I wear my collar. If I don't wear my collar I CAN adresse him as Master, but there is no punishment if I don't do so. The rules are clear for my Master and me.

The Slave Terminal 2.0

In the last couple of weeks I worked a lot on the "Slave Terminal 2.0" which I hopefully soon can share with you people! I already wrote an article about the "Slave Termin 1.0" (here). It was my playground to learn how to program combined with my passion to BDSM. As you could imagen the code I wrote worked but with the experience I gained over time about programming there was a lot of improvement. So I decided to "rewrite" the Slave Terminal with my lessons learned with the idea to make it accessible to other Master and slaves. 

Before you continue reading I recomment to read the previous blogentry about the "Slave Terminal 1.0" to understand the main function of the terminal (here).

non verbal domination

Non verbal domination is for me one of the highest and most intense forms of domination. It means that the Master dominates the slave without any spoken words. I want to reflect on how this can work and what it can mean. You can roughly categorize a few types.

Slaves and positive reinforcement

I want to write today about the topic of positive reinforcement in BDSM. When we think about BDSM and how to train a slave we immediatly think of "negative" reinforcement. Using the crop, showing the slave what he did wrong and so on. Of course I use the crop, of course my slave gets punished when he did something wrong - this is all part of BDSM. In a session it can work to only focus on the "negative" reinforcemend. When living the BDSM lifestyle positive reinforcement is as important as negative reinforcement and I believe also in sessions where you have a submissive and devoted (natural) slave it is a important and great tool to use positive reinforcement.