BDSM Lifestyle and daily life

Life is dynamic therefore it is important to adjust rules and structure to situation where it is needed! Of course there are rules and structures which are set in stone and which will probably not change but as a responsible Master you have to stay open minded and read the signals.

The ideal flat for a D/s relationship

Master and I have already been living together for 10 years. That is quite some time to see how D/s fits into everyday life. Furthermore we have met some other people who are kind of living the D/s life and seen their flats and houses. So I thought on sharing some thoughts about how the ideal flat/house for the BDSM-lifestyle or a D/s relationship looks like and what to look for if your looking for a place where you want to live with your Master or slave.

Serving two Leathermasters

Recently I was part of an evening that came right out of a porn movie. Master invited another Leatermaster and I was allowed to serve them both.

Master had planned this evening and He usually only gives me short notice that another Master or slave is coming. So I knew someone was coming but I did not knew if I would serve two Doms or if Master would have two submissives serving Him. When the evening came Master had me put on my gimp mask and turned me into a Human table where the Doms could put down their drinks.

"Entertaiment" vs. punishment

One of the most important topics in every relationship is open communication. Also in a D/s relationship it is important to communicate. Sometimes it is crutial that the slaves understands why something is happening. A good example of this is the topic "Entertaiment" vs. punishment.

Sometimes I want to use my slave for my entertainment or for the entertainment of my Master colleages. So I normaly tie my slave in a way up where his entire slave body is accessable. Playing with the slave nipples, squeezing the slave balls, hitting the slave with the riding crop. Showing him his position as a slave and object by using him as a "toy" for real men. Letting him suffer for my amusement. 

When Master uses other slaves

Master recently has reflected on open relationships and BDSM and that He controls my sexuality and whom I meet and that He is free on wheter meeting other subs or not. 

I thought I might reflect a little bit on how it is for me that Master uses other subs. First of all I know it is a difficult topic in many BDSM and vanilla relationships. Meeting other people for sex or BDSM can be difficult if there is a lack of communication that can make things complicated. But I also have seen it working great for many people, so every couple has to find it's own way. 

Open relationship & the BDSM lifestyle

If you would ask me if we had a open or closed relationship I would answer none of these two types. We are having a BDSM relationship. So after receiving this question I decided to write about my view and definition.

How the slave lost it's name

I honestly can't remember when Master called me the last time by my first name. It must have been months or even years ago? Pretty soon in our relationship, as in many D/s-relationship we did not refer to each other by our names but our "titles" - like Master, slave, Sir etc. 

This has intensived over the last year at the same time our relationship has intensived and turned even more into a D/s direction. So what does my Master call me now?

One night slaves

When I started my path into BDSM I began to date slaves and learned a lot about my true being. I quickly realised what I wanted. Of course I had first to find out that I am a natural Master. It was clear from the beginning that I was searching BDSM and that it was not about having sex. To be honest I never had vanilla sex. Since the beginning of my sexuality BDSM was a necessairy part of my "sexuality".

Looking back on the slave summer

We are back. Ok we haven't been really gone, but we kind of stayed a little bit more quiet here during summer, because summer is full of so many activities. Now it is time to reflect on the summer months. As you surely do not want tips for places to visit, of course I will focus on the summer as Master and slave with my Master. First of all it was great! We managed to take some time off and spend time together more intensivly at home and on vacation.

the BDSM paradox

Today I want to make some thoughts about the - I call it - BDSM paradox. I remember chats with slaves who wrote in the first line something like "you can do EVERYTHING you want with me, Sir". Let´s be honest: Every person has a certain (healthy) limit. Does it mean a Master can do EVERYTHING he wants? No, especially when you train a slave and guide him into submission. I like the analogy of building a house.

Involving vanillas "indirectly"

After posting a picture of my slave serving me in our holidays on twitter, a follower asked me if we tidy up the room from BDSM stuff. In that moment the idea of writting a blogpost about involving vanillas into the BDSM world came up. So here is my view on involving vanillas into BDSM.

How the different regimes/protocols evolved over the years

One Master on twitter recently asked how Master developed the different regimes/protocols over the years and if there where any dead ends.

I am very to answer this question, because it is an interesting topic and on the other hand I am happy to serve this Sir by answering His question.

Being allowed as a guestslave to serve Master D.

right: slave m. / left: slave a.

I was still lying in bed after a long night, knowing that there was a quite normal Saturday ahead of me. This changed when I saw that Master D. texted me. As always I got instantly excited. He asked me what my plans for the night were because he and his slave booked a spontaneous trip to my city and wanted to visit a sex club.

I only met Master and his slave once before and already had the possibility to serve with his slave so I was pretty happy that he considered me serving him again.

We are enjoying summer

It is time for our "summer break". As every year we take some time for ourself and enjoy the summer. We will be back on the 1st. of September with a new blogentry and hopefully a lot of new ideas what to write.

Don't be sad, during that time we are still working on new blogentries and we will be back soon! In the meantime you can still browse through over 200 blogentries we wrote. enjoy.

 

And of course you can follow us on twitter where we regulary tweet about our livestyle Follow @MasterHusband and Follow @GaySlaveHusband

Why I decided to keep my slave locked permanently

I never thought or intended to keep my slave permantly locked. On the contrary: I always thought keeping his useless slavecock "free" but of course chaste has more benefits then locking it away. I have to admit: I was not fully right.

I noticed that my slave is slightly more submissive and gets more often reminded of its position during the day when its locked. Furthermore I noticed that its slightly more focused on serving me when wearing his cage. Do not get me wrong: My slave is always submissive and always aware about its position. 

What does active submission mean to me?

One of the Doms I follow on twitter and I admire most asked me how I use active submission to be eager and obedient at the same time. 

That is a very good question! Some people would say to be active and to be submissive contradicts each other. I think there are many Doms that enjoy a totally obedient slave. A slave that only waits for the next order and only fullfills the very certain order and waits silently until the next order is given. Then there are surely Doms that enjoy an active submissve slave that is active around the house, makes suggestions offers their holes from time to time etc. I think Master and me are somewhere inbetween.

Using a slave as an object

As you know I see slaves as objects and therefore I use them for example as furniture. It reduces a slave to "nothing". Perhaps you might ask "What is the fun part about using a slave as a (pure) object? Nothing happens..."

Exactly! The object is serving only and only with its presence. Furthermore an object does not receive or can expect any kind of attention - so on a hypothetical level it is the purest serving you can get as a Master while in the other direction the object receives no "stimulations". A pure object has only one job and everthing else does not matter! 

Your question: Are there days where I need a break from BDSM?

Thank you for your questions that you have for me and our lifestyle. I want to answer the following question I received from a follower on twitter:

"From the outside your life style looks really intense. Are there days when you need a break from it all. Does sir allow you time to step back from the lifestyle for a moment."

Keeping a slave chaste is half the way

As you know I keep my slave 24/7 chaste. In 90% of the time he wears his chastity device as a reminder of his position. Not able to touch or feel his useless slavecock. Furthermore he is forced to use the toilet and is "unable" to use a urinal which shows clearly his being as an inferior.

Recharching the batteries for Master and slave

As you already know Master considers himself as natural dominant and I consider myself as a natural submissive. My Master needs a submissive partner, as I need a dominant partner that I can worship. A day where I can't kneel in front of my Master is kind of a lost day and I also notice that when there are several days where I can't serve my Master that he starts to miss something deeply.

So of course we try to live our true nature as often as possible. But of course there are times where living our lifestyle is not as possible as we would want to live it. For example there are busy times at work, sickness, the meetings with friends and families where it is hard to live our lifestyle. Don't get me wrong in all these times I serve my Master as good as possible. 

The slave terminal - more improvements

As you probably read I work on a project called "slave terminal". You can read more about the idea and how it began here and some improvements I made here.

After a long time I started to work again on the slave terminal and made new changes. First I wanted to redesign it from the ground with "qt6". So that the graphical interface looks more fancy and that I can deploy it on several platforms - Windows, Mac, Linux. Unfortunatly I need more effort and time to dig deeper into qt6. So I decided to keep my version and redesign the code, add some new features as well as get rid of unused codeparts. Furthermore I cleaned up the database and made it more logical. Since I started the project I learned a lot about programing and databases! So it was time to get rid of my beginner's mistake.

Being an introvert submissive

I have recently had a discussion with another slave about introvercy and submissivnes. We both wondered if many submissives are introverts and Master/Doms are rather extrovert?

A guest who turned into a (guest)slave

What a nice evening I had! It is the first time since the pandemic that I had a new guestslave - but lets start from the beginning. The guestslave came first as a normal guest. Therfore he did not submit from the beginning. He did not call me Sir. Yes he always showed respect and was polite and it was clear that he probably wanted to serve. He knew that if he would submit, I will always see him as a slave (more about that here). So we met first on an "equal base" - I invited him over to expirience a three course meal where my slave is in servant protocol. 

10 years a slave

This year marks the 10 year anniversary since I asked my Master if he would allow me to become his slave. 

It is interesting how our lives and we have developed since then! I did not know what my life would be when I became his slave. I have always been looking for this kind of relationship. But after several years and some disapointing trials I had already given up. That was till I found my Master. He was very reasonable and started to built trust slowly and slowly.

Cigars and BDSM

I am sure if you browsed through "BDSM" in social media you sooner or later stumbled across a picture of a Dom smoking a cigar and perhaps having a slave serving him in the meantime. In my young Master ages I also stumbled across such a picture and I have to admit I very liked the view of an "older" and at that time more experienced Master colleague smoking a cigar while using his slave. It really had something. Perhaps I should mention that I am a non smoker. But a cigar always had something special for me.

My Master is the man of the house

I really love about BDSM relationships that they are so diverse and every couple can define the roles within them for them and also adapte them from time to time. So I decided to reflect a little bit about what it means that we are a married gay couple but that be both define that only my Master is the man of the house. Please be aware that this is only a personal reflection. As said before there is a huge variety of ways you can live in a D/s relationship.

The Perfect "Master"-Business Trip

As you probaly already read I sometimes have to go on business trips. I had my first long haul business trip since a while and I think it was the perfect "Master" trip on my way back! But let´s start from the beginning. 

Sleeping on the floor as slave

As you already know I am only allowed to sleep in the Master bed when my Master is at home and when he allows me to join Him in bed. Otherwise I have to sleep on the floor or in the cage. So sleeping on the floor is nothing unusal to me and I have to admit it is something I got used to over the years. Of course Master wants me to stay healthy and sleep well. So although I have to sleep on the floor sometims He still allows me to use a camping mat and a sleeping bag. Of course I don't sleep as good on the floor as I sleep in the bed. But honestly I kind of got used to it and so sleeping on the floor became normal to me and I can still spend the day after without being totally tired etc.

Missing the slave

As you probably know I am sometimes on business trips. That means I am seperated from my precious slave. Sometimes only a day and sometimes a whole week or longer. After owning my slave for a decade I still miss him from the first day. I know this could sound silly but he is the love of my life and he is my lifework. Without my slave I do not feel complete. Something is missing.

Fucking as a slave

A slave friend has recently asked me if I would get as an alphaslave the power to fuck another slave. This question totally got me out of the blue because I never think about fucking. That is why I decided to reflect a little bit about it. 

My view on an alphaslave

As you probably already read I see my slave as an alpha when having guestslaves over. Of course that means that he has more responsibilites as he already has. As an alphaslave he is responsible to guide the guest slave. To help him following all house rules and that he serves properly. Being responsible for the guest slave means also to held accountable for mistakes this slave makes.

Trying to improve as a slave

I am the permanent slave of my Master for quite some years. My Master trains me regularly. These trainings help me to keep my quality as a slave and to improve as a slave as my Master has writtern here: link

The importancy of slave trainings

My slave became the slave he is because of his slave trainings! The trainings help him to deepen his submissivness as well as accepting and finding his true self. For me slave trainings are an essential part of the BDSM lifestyle as well as the backbone of a working and healthy BDSM relationship - of course combined with trust and love. 

Wearing a mask - slave perspective

After Master has written in his last post about slaves wearing a mask, he has encouraged me to show my my perspective on masks. To be honest - I totally love them! That is for different reasons. I don't wear masks in everyday life. At least at home, outdoors this is a completly different topic as you know quite well :-)

The power of a slave mask

My slave mostly has to wear his slavemask when serving in high protocol and there is a reason for it: The mask objectifices a slave.

BDSM Outfits

First of all: In my opinion the outfit does not matter when practicing BDSM, especially when living the BDSM-lifestyle but it can underline a certain vibe or situation. Futhermore there is no right or wrong about outfits! For me personally I like to be authentic. Because of that I mostly wear my everyday clothes when I use and train my slave. It is who I am. Of course I have a "dress-code" for my slave or for a guest slave: They have to be naked, wear cuffs and collar. 

The joy of licking boots

I recently was talking to another fellow sub about licking boots. He told me how one sub found joy in licking another sub's boots. I was thinking to myself that that would not work for me.

Reflection on 2021 by Master D.

One year has passed and my slave went deeper into submission and I believe he is finding his true self by serving. I see how happy he is and how well he grows into his being as slave which I believe he was born for.