Thursday, October 12, 2023

Tips about finding your Master/slave

I often get the question "What can I do to find a Master/slave?". I think it is time that I write my thoughts down. One thing in particular has to be clear: It needs your effort and of course luck.

First of all. If you want to find your Master/slave it is important not to have to many expectations. It could happen that you do not recognize a fit. Do you know this kind of situation/effect where you are looking/searching for new clothe or shoes but you do not find the kind you are looking for? Do you also know the situation where you stumble over clothing/shoes were you immidiatly fell in love but you did not search for it? I believe that can be because of the expectations and the mindset which were set. While "searching" you focus on many details.

Do not get me wrong. Of course there are basic expections which have to be met but do not have an "image" of it. Yes the clothe/shoe must fit in size, but is the color or the material really that important? The important thing is that the whole thing is coherent and not a detail.
Having an image in mind will bring me to the next point.

Image we have
A Master has to have muscles, a deep voice, he has to be big, should be experienced and wear always leather...
Sorry to disappoint you - that is already an image which you will most likely not find! Get rid of these "porn" images while searching. Yes something like that can perhaps be found for a session with a Master. Life is more complex than this image. Job, family, friends are all aspects which will be part of a BDSM lifestyle! In a session you can blank out these parts - in true life not.
You forgot one important thing: You already made your "goal" image and forgot the whole way. Living the BDSM lifestyle is about the path - the evolution you are making TOGETHER. Of course you can have goals and dreams or I would call it "ideas" where the way could lead - But let´s talk about the BDSM path.

The BDSM Path
The most beautiful thing for me in the BDSM lifestyle is the path. Starting with a first examination of the slave. Looking if it matches. Going deeper, trying new stuff. Talking about it and deepen it. BDSM is communication and trust. It is training and guidance. Also a Dom has to make his experiences. Enjoy it! Embrace it! If it matches you have a lifetime to train your slave or to get better in serving your Master. There is no rush. It is so beautful to look back and see what you achieved without overstraining it. Like every sport, like every skill it has to be trained and needs time. If your goal is to achieve something you will have to go the path. There ist no shortcut! In sport your muscles have to grow, you have to learn the tactics and train your stamina. The same occurs for other skills and of course for BDSM. To go this path you need the right mindset.

Having the right mindset for the BDSM lifestyle is important. Being a lifestyle Master or slave means that you define yourself as Master or slave in everyday life. Not only for a session.
Therefore it should not be your level of horniness which drives you into BDSM. It should be your thinking, your desires, your mindset. Also after a hard day at work you will dominate or submit because it is an important part of you....

My personal tip:
I know it is easier said than done but I want to write it down anyway. My tip is that you enjoy your being as Master/slave. Try to meet new people, make new experiences, go to BDSM events, serve different Masters or dominate different slave. Try not to paint a picture of the future, try to live in the moment and look forward only one step ahead and not 20 steps.

Be active. Go to BDSM events and meet people. After a real first contact it is mostly easier to start dominating/submitting to someone. You will feel the vibe of a person. Something what social media can not give you.

If you have any question or comments about this post let me know in the comment below. You can also find us on:

Telegram Channel:@MasterHusbandD
Twitter: and
or visit Master D´s website

Blogentry #256

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